Instantly Improve Your Life With One Step

*Note:  I do not remove posts from Zen Presence, however I no longer full support the idea behind this post.  Although I do believe that removing negative people from your life will help you feel happier in the short term, I don't believe it is a "life solution."  True, meaningful happiness involves helping others.  The key is to know your limits.  Don't take on more than you can handle.  Another important note is to take on the responsibility for the separation.  For example, I am not in a place to deal with Samantha's drama right now.  It overwhelms me so I will minimize contact until I am able to maintain my peace when around her.

This is no gimmick.  If you take the following action, I promise you that it will improve your life and it doesn't require you to enter life-long counselling, to participate in some 30 day challenge, or hire a life coach. It will take is a little bit of courage and some reflecting.

Here it is -

To the greatest extent possible, separate yourself from any person, place, or thing that is bringing you down, is disruptive for you, unsupportive of you, or otherwise harmful to your well being or self esteem.  The disgruntled co-worker, the nay-sayer, the jerk next door.....even the condescending relative.  These negative people are like vampires and will suck the life out of you.  If it is a co-worker or relative then it may be tough.  Deal with them only when necessary to accomplish a task.  It doesn't matter who it is - you have to be tough.  You may have to leave them, block them, or ignore them.  You must not let these people destroy your joy - your passion for life.

I know that this will be hard to do - I've been there.  I've had to cut some close family members out of my life because they were always negative.  I tried but I couldn't help them, they only brought those around them down.  It hurt and I hated to do it but in the end it became necessary.  You can't stop negative people from being negative but you can stop them from destroying everything positive and beautiful in you.  In the end you owe it to the others in your life and you owe it to yourself.

This purging applies to negative habits and routines as well.  Do a self inventory and determine which practices add value and which detract from your life.  Eliminate the negative immediately and entirely.  No mercy here.  Eliminating negative actions is just as important as eliminating the negative people in your life.  On some level you will judge yourself for doing things that are not good for you and this is terrible for your self esteem.

Once you've eliminated or limited contact with the negative influences in your life you will feel your energy returning.  It will be like recovering from a chronic illness.  Your creative juices will begin to flow and you will feel the joy for life that you are meant to have. 

As a symbolic gesture, remove something from your home that you are not particularly fond of and replace it with something bright and positive.  Use your new 'thing' as a reminder and in the same manner, replace the negative influences in your life with creative, positive, and uplifting influences.  You have the power of choice.  You can improve your life.

Zen Presence - Ideas for Meaningful Living.
Zen, positive thinking.


  1. "You can't stop negative people from being negative but you can stop them from destroying everything positive and beautiful in you."

    Thanks for that, this morning. :-)

  2. Removing toxic relationships... I've done that in the last few years and it is wonderful. I am not complaining about people in my life anymore, I'm not caught in that negative energy drag..

  3. Yeah, I"ve got a negative person in my family, and I tried to be kind and make things work for years. Finally I realized it was draining to me and my wife. So we stopped trying so hard. We see her at family things, but we don't seek her out like we do everyone else. And it has been very nice ever since.

    1. Yes, it's tough with family, but there comes a point....

  4. Perfect, thank you! I am a teacher and about three months ago I stopped eating lunch in the teacher's lounge. I had realized the negative talk, the disparaging chatter about co-workers, was wearing on me. I'm quiet, so I was a listener, not a talker. I realized I was still part of that destructive and negative group just by being in there. No more. I feel lighter and kinder and happier.

  5. I absolutely love this post. And you are right: it is no gimmick. We have the choice to change our lives instantly and go down another road, a healthier one, if we choose.

  6. Very true.
    I am lucky that I don't have any negative relationships in my life (at least for now), but I am working on changing my bad habits and routines.
    One small step a day.


  7. This is very true. I used to sing in a choir where everybody just bitched and bitched about everything. I enjoyed the singing but everntually left because of all the negativity.

    Now I just have to focus on finding more positive relationships in my life.

  8. True words. It is extremely hard to change. We have to save ourselves as no one else you can do it for us.

  9. I needed to read this today. Serendipity. :)

  10. I agree with this! But my problem is nowadays not so much about dealing with negative persons but to be able to even socialize with people that don't have words or thoughts about other things than fashion, cars, houses, furniture, food prices, taxes, the wheather etc.

    I'm concidered strange since I almost never focus on this issues that seem so important in many people's daily life.

    From Stockholm,Sweden

  11. I'm married to this black hole. 35 years of hell.

  12. Great post, I appreciate you and I would like to read your next post. Thanks for sharing this useful information. Life Coach